What's In a Name? More than you may think!

We Canadians tend to be "carefully" friendly (unlike our cousins to the South who seem to be friends with everybody). One of the wonderful ways in which we express our friendship is through the use of nicknames. Let me give you a few examples that I have heard over my years. Many of these were used in the Canadian Forces, where you really want to make friends rapidly because soldiers have GUNS!

• Mud Guts Stevens…Drank copious amounts of Chocolate milk
• Hose Nose Murphy…Long snoze.
• The Anteater…Longer than Hose Nose Murphy's long snoze.
• Wingnut…Big Ears.
• The Fang..Mens Canteen "bicycle" she had no front teeth.
• Cowboy Schultz…couldn't ride a horse but wore a Stetson hat off base.
• Babbler Riching…could not stop talking, but said nothing worth remembering.
• Shadow Ried…too thin to cast a shadow.
• Pumpkin Head Carlson...very large head.
• Meathead Jones... In the Military Police (A.K.A.) "Meatheads", as opposed to Double Clutching Jones who drove a truck in the Service Corps. It's important to know which Jones is the Meathead as in point of fact both were..
• Patterson..this could take a whole page, but here are a few …Black Pat…Dirty socks Patterson…S.L.and A.K.(initials) Patterson…Paddy Patterson and on and on.
• Slewfoot Brown.. Big feet.
• Dangerous Dave Chalmers..fell in love and would marry any one, and did 3 or 4 times. Never hurt a soul when drunk (which was often).
• Mad Jack…Fat Jack..Black Jack..Smiling Jack and Flapjack..
• Shafty Johnson …small but hung like a mule.
• Rip Cord Barnaby..Officer killed in a free fall parachute drop because he forgot something basic. Duh? THUMP!
• Ugly Mulligan…just because he was.
• A chap with the name Hogcnshirtze…became Hockey Shorts
• A Fracophone chap with the name Raincourt…. became Rain Coat
• Bulgy McArthur …Officer who thought he was thin and he wasn't, … his tight uniform gave him away.
• Chicken Major Jones as opposed to Col. Saunders…A Major who had a night job delivering "Chicken On the Way" (I swear it's true!).
• Fireplug Murphy…built like one.
• Fighting Frank Worthington…General F.F. Worthington father of Peter Worthington, columnist.
• Farting Frank Barber…same initials different qualification and RANK!
• Lying Ted….guess.
• Sneaky George Burundi…was just a smarmy person…like a Car Salesman…only cheated at cards too.
• Horseshit Wallace…he was full of it and a real horses ass..hung out with Flimsey Flinch.
• Numb Nuts Allen…really stunned.
• Pussar Parker…origin UK…thought Canada was still a colony and the Lime Juicers are superior,,,talked about "harving childron" and Not KIDS.
• My all time fav'..Chief Walking Eagle…A Commanding Officer I once had…he was so full of crap he could never get off the ground……………...became a General in the end, didn't fly any better in Ottawa.

Most of these fine folks have since passed on. To avoid embarrassment or hurt to any living or their relatives, I have changed or disguised their actual names. My living associates will know how to decode them.

PS: There was another "bicycle" she hung around the Men's Canteen too, Lilly Forgatel….. you figure out why she was called "Iceberg Lettuce." She was from the USA and was also known as The Oregon Cow. Two nicknames it's udder amazement, that's being overly friendly, ……. ..But she was a Yankee and that's their way!

As Major "Old Cock" Stanford said " Who's for a shot of SRD?" (Service Rum Demerara)

This is just the tip of the iceberg and proves how friendly we really are. So my darlings keep up this great Johnny Canuck friendly tradition eh?.

"Take care now…"

You may not know what to take care of, but take care of it NOW any way!

Galloping Geezer (Is Not My Real Name, I hope you realize………Duh……..Thump.)

The Galloping Geezer www.canadianculture.com

Signed; the Galloping Geezer

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